


Whispering His Name

by PureNoir



Category: The Following
Genre: M/M, Sex Toys, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-21 00:10:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1530803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PureNoir/pseuds/PureNoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Answer to prompt: "Ryan walks in on Mike masturbating and whispering his name quietly. Bonus: TOYS!!"</p><p>Edit: corrected version (5/5)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whispering His Name

**Author's Note:**

> Again, English is not my first language, sorry for my mistakes.  
> Many many thanks to [morethanyouknow](http://archiveofourown.org/users/morethanyouknow/pseuds/morethanyouknow) for her huge work as my beta! You are wonderful!
> 
> Ryan and Mike are after Joe's followers as they did during first season, but Ryan's relationship with Carrie is mentioned as the whole Claire thing is.

Another crappy motel in another crappy town.

Ryan sighed heavily as he lay fully dressed on his uncomfortable bed. He could hear Mike running the shower in the next room through the thin wall.

With nothing to do, no bars to hit -they were after some of Joe's followers, he wouldn't dare to be unfocused the next day, putting Mike in danger- he resigned himself to go to sleep, already imagining his night of tossing and turning.

Remembering he had to charge his phone Ryan shoved his hands into his pockets only to find them empty. Snorting he got up looking for his jacket that was draped on the chair, he found it empty. Scanning the room for the missing phone he remembered having left the goddamn thing in Mike room after dropping him off in his room.

During their dinner at a nearby pub Mike had first ordered a red double malt beer clearly not being up to it, already buzzed, he had grabbed Ryan’s half-full glass of vodka -the only one he had allowed himself- draining it in two gulps while babbling something about ‘saving Ryan from damnation’ making faces at the taste.

Mike had become Ryan’s new damnation when, after few minutes, he had begun to giggle incoherently without stopping.

After having watched the Mikey show for a little while, with a brow raised clearly not impressed. Ryan had gotten ahold of the kid’s arm while leaving some cash on the table. Leading them out of the pub, Ryan cursed each time Mike had manage to stumble.

Ten minutes and two stops later -the pub was just across the street, two minutes walking at most for a mother with a stroller and four other kids- Ryan had managed to open the motel door with one hand while bracing Mike with the other, pushing Mike in, cursing some more as he searched Mike’s pockets for his room’s key, retrieving the key from a grinning Mike who was holding it in his hand and had said nothing all the time, opening Mike’s door and finally half-throwing Mike on his bed.

Mike had laid unmoving and still grinning until Ryan had rolled his eyes and knelt down to unlace the kid’s boots, before ordering him to the shower and storming out to his own room.

In order to help the messy kid Ryan had put down the phone he was holding in his hand -God knows why- on the desk and, obviously, had forgotten it there.

Sighing again Ryan went for his door asking himself how could Mike take such long showers and if he should worried for the kid considering his drunk state may have fallen and drowned..Fuck! Mike was still in the shower! Ryan knew how long Mike’s showers could be, he had discovered it one of the many times Mike had been at Ryan’s, leaving him without hot water and very colorful expressions towards the unaware kid, and now all the alcohol made him even slower.

Deciding to go to the reception for a pass-partout Ryan tried miserably Mike's doorknob once and he stopped surprised as it opened before him.

Their motel was a crappy old one with classic metal keys instead of the new tech cards and, apparently, doors didn’t close without doing it from inside. So much for their security.  
Peeking inside Ryan saw no Mike and heard the water still going. 

He spotted his phone on the desk, grabbed it quickly and turned back, suddenly he froze, dead in his tracks.

Listening more carefully Ryan heard again what had captured his attention.  
A soft, moaned “Ryan..”

Careful not to make any noise Ryan took a step towards the bathroom, only to stop, shake his head. What was he doing? He had to go away and leave.

“Ryan..ah!”

He moved forward, reaching the bathroom door, stopping again and listening to every sound. He could hear the water running but most of all he could hear moans and gasp coming from inside the bathroom.

The semi-opened door allowed Ryan to peek inside the room, pushing it open slightly to get a better view.  
His eyes followed a trail of clothes thrown on the floor from the sink to the shower, where Mike stood. Naked, open glass, gorgeous, water everywhere, drunk, standing against the wall, his right hand slowly moving up and down his length while the other one was behind him, doing something Ryan couldn’t tell from his position. 

Ryan’s head turned abruptly to the clothes on the floor and to something colorful, that had barely caught his attention before.

Not caring about being discovered as Mike was too drunk and occupied to pay attention to the intruder, Ryan entered the room to have a better look at the objects on the floor.  
Mike had placed a box on the sink and evidently spilled half of his contents while trying to find something.

Ryan stood unmoving, his mouth opened as his brain worked to accept what he had in front of him. Plugs, a fake cock, a pair of handcuffs he was sure they were from the FBI- and some other things. 

His eyes grew wide in realization as he turned again to Mike, understanding what he was doing with his left hand. He was fucking himself, with one of those things, whispering his name.

Fuck.

Ok, that was the perfect moment to move and get away from all of this. 

Ryan began to move to get out but stopped again, literally looking at his groin in disbelief.  
Really? Had he really gotten a hard on a kid fucking himself in front of him? This kid? That was insane, the kid was Mike! Mike, his partner.  
Besides he wasn’t in guys, he really wasn’t. Or at least he had never before because it had never happened to-...

Gorgeous, Mike was definitely gorgeous.

“Ryan..”

Fuck everything.

Ryan covered the distance between his spot and the door in few steps, tangling himself in his clothes as he tried to get rid of all of them. Finally naked he stepped in the shower and knelt down. 

Thank God that Mike was so out of it he didn't hear him because the look on his face as Ryan slapped away the hand he was caressing himself with, only to replace it with his mouth, was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“Ah! R-Ryan?”

Ryan wrapped one of his hands around the base of Mike's member while continuing to suck him. Mike had stopped pushing and pulling the plug inside himself, too surprise to continue, but Ryan brought his hand back to work before stroking Mike’s balls and finishing him off in few seconds.  
He watched Mike's face the whole time, savoring all the expressions, his eyes rolling back as he came and the slight redness spreading on his cheeks just after.

Stepping out of the shower Ryan took the first towel he found and came back to Mike who was staring at him redder than before, his eyes fixed on him with a great mix of emotions that Ryan wasn’t willing to analyze at the moment. 

Ryan wrapped Mike in the towel and took him out the shower. The kid followed his lead, still transfixed and caught up in the towel, he stumbled falling into Ryan who caught him. Taking advantage of Mike’s face at his level, Ryan kissed him, hard. It took Mike a while to respond but eventually he snapped out of his trance and began kissing Ryan back eagerly.

They moved, still kissing, towards the bed and Ryan fell on top of Mike. 

Ryan left Mike’s lips to back off a bit and unwrap him from the towel, exposing Mike’s toned body. 

How one so young and perfect could be interested in him was a mystery to Ryan but he hadn’t the slightest intention to think about it now. 

Ryan let his eyes run over Mike’s body, absorbing every detail of it, without touching. 

A hand came to rest on his chest and Ryan looked up at Mike’s face, meeting his so blue eyes, reading in them all the expectations, excitement and..love.

It made Ryan sway, all that love. What was he doing? Could he go on with what they had begun, involving Mike in his life even more, putting him under his curse? He had to be too selfish to do it, but he longed for some heat at his side, for someone caring about him and strong enough to be able to make it. Was Mike that person? Could he be strong enough to win against their work, against Joe and against Ryan’s self-destruction? A part of Ryan desired to believe Mike was strong enough, to give in to his heat, but his mind kept pulling him away from it.

Mike knew Ryan too well; he had spent too much time with him to not know what was in his mind, blocking him. Slowly he reached out to cup Ryan’s face with one hand and got his lips closer to Ryan’s until they were almost touching.

“Let it go Ryan...” 

Unable to listen to his mind anymore Ryan closed the short distance between them kissing Mike again. He soon left his lips to leave hot kisses on his chin and down, on his neck, his torso. He reached one nipple sucking gently on it before biting down a little, eliciting a loud moan from Mike. 

He went down further, kissing his stomach, making him laugh as his tongue dipped into his belly button -he definitely had to make Mike laugh more often- and finally reaching his groin. Sliding down between Mike’s legs to have a better view of him, Ryan caught a glimpse of a red thing still inside Mike’s body. Reaching down Ryan got hold of it, twisting it a little, watching Mike as he bucked his hips up, looking at him with desperation as his cock twitched violently.

Smirking, Ryan began to play. He gave the plug a little twist and stopped.

“Sooooo..How long?”

“R-Ryan, please!”

Another twist.

“Answer me.”

“Ah! How long what?”

Twist.

“How long did you fuck yourself while thinking of me?”

“Always Ryan! S-since the beginning, since you came to the Bureau and corrected me, that day.”

Satisfied Ryan just stood, observing Mike’s chest rising and falling at a fast pace, until Mike could take no more of hit and grabbed his own cock starting to stroke it again. Surprised by the kid’s boldness Ryan slapped the offending hand away, glaring at Mike.

“Stop it. Wait here and don’t touch yourself or I will go away.”

Mike nodded miserably, desperation clear on his handsome features.

Ryan went into the bathroom again, without turning back, knowing Mike would follow his order. He picked up all the toys and the box before heading back to Mike. Seeing his stuff, Mike reddened again.

Ryan knelt beside him on the bed, lifting his arms and using the handcuffs he locked Mike's hands to the headboard. Speechless, Mike tried to pull at his restraints once before his attention went back to Ryan as the man studied the contents of the box.  
Ryan had never owned any toys nor used them before but he could easily understand what was before him.

“When did you get all this stuff Mike?” Ryan asked smiling dangerously while he resumed his position between the kid’s legs.

“A-at first I-I..” Mike’s voice trailed off as his cheeks and neck became bright red.

“You what Mike? You want me to touch you, so answer me Mike.”

Breathing hard and watching the toy Ryan was playing with instead of the man, Mike tried to answer.

“At the beginning I used just my fingers but..but I wanted it to feel more realistic so I bought one of them.”

“The little one?”

“Yeah..Yes.”

“And all the others? The handcuffs? I’m sure they would like to know were a pair of handcuffs disappeared too.” teased Ryan, obviously referring to their Bureau.

“I-I..I stole them.” admitted Mike looking down “But I never used it being..alone.”

Ryan chose a rubber cock-ring from the box and began placing it on Mike, whom bit down his lips to cut off his cries, eyes running from Ryan to his cock then back again.

Reaching down once again Ryan got a grip on the base of the plug inside Mike and slowly began to pull it out. He wasn’t sure of what he was doing but seeing Mike’s reaction and his cock throbbing with his every movement lead him to assume he was giving him pleasure. Ryan repeated the motion again, pulling and pushing the plug slowly.

“Ry-Ryan, please, please!”

“Please what, Mike?”

“Please, do something!”

“I’m doing something Mike.” Ryan teased; smirk clear on his face and in his eyes.

"More, more. I need more.." was the breathless plea Mike gave Ryan.

Mike kept breathing heavily, teeth gritted in frustration, until Ryan pulled the plug completely out his body and Mike let out a high cry.  
Ryan looked at the plug finding it medium-sized, not the biggest one in the box. He put the object down reaching for a bottle of lube when a detail hit his mind.

“Alone?”

“What?”

“You said you never used the handcuffs because you were alone.”

“Yeah..I never had anyone since I took them. I never had anyone at all, except for this guy at college, but we never did anything serious at all, so..”

“Whoa, stop! You never had anyone doing this to you Mike? Maybe we shouldn’t do it; I don’t want to hurt you.”

“No, Ryan, please. There is nothing I want more and beside I’m..trained..I-I, uhm, played a lot in those two years.” Mike pleaded, blushing again, not looking at Ryan.

Wanting to make things good for Mike, Ryan eyed the handcuffs, questioning himself about taking them off or not. 

Mike reading his mind spoke to him with sweetness in his voice "Leave them please, I like them. I'm yours, body and soul."

Following the kid will, Ryan stopped thinking about the handcuffs, focusing on the body under him. He started kissing Mike’s bounded wrists, trailing his lips down on Mike’s arm till he reached his shoulder. More kisses followed on Mike’s neck, making him moan and squirm.

“Oh Ryan..I want you so much..”

Mike’s words were confirmed by his member, erect and pressing against Ryan’s body.  
A quick caress on it made Mike buckle, but Ryan gave him no more, returning to Mike’s face and licking the shell of his ear.

Ryan softly pressed his lips on Mike’s closed eyelids, Mike tilted his head back, finding Ryan's mouth and licking his bottom lip with his tongue. Growling, Ryan bit down on Mike’s full bottom lip, pressing hard enough to make clear who was the one in control.

“Stay still.” the tone was hard but Ryan’s eyes were soft and hot.

Ryan went on kissing Mike, their tongues playing. With his hands he started caressing every inch of Mike’s body that he could reach, stopping at a nipple until it was hard and twisting it then, pressing his hands into Mike’s sides, making Mike shiver.

As he reached Mike’s groin, Ryan went pass it, eliciting a frustrated protest from Mike.

“Shhhh, just wait kid.”

Ryan went down more, reaching Mike’s feet and taking one in his hands. He slowly massaged the sole before laying a kiss on his ankle then repeating the process on his other foot.

Finger pressing in Mike’s legs Ryan went back up, reaching his pelvis again.  
Grabbing Mike’s sides with his hands Ryan turned him face-down on the bed. As soon as Mike felt the sheets against his turgid cock he began stroking himself on it, trying to find some release.

A sharp slap on his ass was the answer Ryan gave to his rebellion, followed by a brush of lips on the spot he had hit. To prevent any other attempt of pleasuring himself Ryan lifted Mike, leaving him on his knees, ass up in the air and shoulders down on the bed.

“This is your punishment. Don’t make me punish you more, kid.”

Moaning an unintelligible answer Mike stroked his face on the cold sheet, trying to find some comfort there.

Ryan trailed his lips on Mike’s butt cheek, biting down playfully.  
One of his fingers went on the top of Mike’s butt crack and slowly drew a path down, reaching Mike’s hole beginning to make slow circles around it.

“Oh Ryan, please, please, touch me. Take me.”

Reaching down between his open legs Ryan cupped the kid’s balls, caressing and squeezing them, he reached then for Mike's cock, circling it with his index and middle and going slowly up and down.

Mike began to push back against the finger Ryan was still using to caress his opening, then against the hand holding him, not knowing which one was better. 

When Ryan pushed the first phalanx of his finger into Mike’s body the answer became clear and Mike pushed back on the finger, taking in another phalanx and then all of Ryan’s digit.

He felt the friction of his inner tissues against Ryan’s skin and didn’t manage to avoid grimacing, making Ryan know something wasn’t perfectly right.

“Easy, easy, kid.”

Taking his finger back Ryan reached into the toy-box on the bed, grabbing the lube and covering his fingers with it he then he went back to Mike’s hole, drawing again some quick circles around it before pushing in once more. This time the slick finger went in easily, making Mike shudder from pleasure.

Ryan went on, pushing and pulling his finger almost out, causing Mike to push back every time it was about to slip out, trying not to lose it.

“Another, please.”

“So eager.” chuckled Ryan but feeling accomplished he took his index finger completely out only to enter again with two fingers.

“Here! Right here! Oh, please, Ryan!” Mike begged for more as Ryan stroked his prostate.

Ryan continued stroking Mike, occasionally going back to his prostate, until the sight of Mike all excited and trembling, face flushed, pushing against his fingers and moaning in appreciation, became too much.

He used the hand that had been stroking Mike’s cock until now to cover his own cock with lube and then he retrieved his finger to lay the head of his member against Mike hole. As he felt Mike starting to push back onto him. Ryan grabbed him by the hips causing him to still. He wanted something different. Retrieving a little he turned Mike again, bending his knees and positioning himself between his legs.

Mike used his legs to cling to Ryan’s hips, lifting up his pelvis from the bed and giving Ryan the perfect angle to move. As Ryan felt Mike’s hole align with his member he began to push in slowly, one hand bracing him, the other one caressing Mike’s cock. Ryan’s eyes never left Mike's reading every emotion he found in them.

Buried to the root Ryan bent forward to kiss Mike hungrily before starting to pull back. His slow pace only lasted a few strokes before he started to go faster and faster.

“Ah, Ryan, Ryan!”

Watching Mike's face to be sure he was ok Ryan took his hands off Mike’s member and using his free arm to brace Mike he pushed their bodies flush against each other, their bellies stroking Mike's cock trapped between them.

"Please, please Ryan! May I come? Please!"

"Not yet."

"Please, I can take no more, I need to come, please!" Mike begged nearly crying.

"Wait for me." Ryan whispered in Mike's ear, managind to calm him down a little. 

Ryan put his hands on Mike handcuffed wrists and kept moving with long trusts. As he felt his orgasm approaching he locked eyes with Mike and his hand went down to free Mike's engorged member from the cock-ring.

"Come, now."

Shouting and bucking Mike came hard, his body clenching, trembling and tightening around Ryan, triggering him to his own orgasm.

Spent, Ryan laid down half on Mike, wanting just to go to sleep. He shot a glance to the handcuffs, sighing at the idea of getting up for the keys.

"I can sleep in them if you want, it's ok."

"Nah. I just want to..hold you."

The stunning smile Mike gave him stopped Ryan for a moment before he recovered and quickly got ridded of the handcuffs. 

Ryan gathered all the toys from the bed putting them back in the box and he noticed Mike squirming and blushing.

"What is it, Mike? Tell me."

"Can you..could you.. Sometimes I..Sometimes I like to sleep with something in me and I would like to do it tonight if this is all right with you." 

Without answering, Ryan looked in the box, studying all the plugs in there until he found one satisfying him: a blue one, very soft, not very big, seeming to be comfortable enough.

Lubing it up, he spread Mike's legs apart and, holding one of Mike's hand in his, he aligned the plug with Mike's hole before pushing it slowly and steady inside the kid, eliciting new moans and twitches from Mike. 

Ryan finally put the box aside and lay beside Mike, pulling the comforter over them.  
Mike rolled on his side facing Ryan and rested his head on his chest, one hand sprayed near his face. Ryan wrapped him with his arms and kissed his head lightly, feeling tired and satiated.  
Maybe tonight he would manage to sleep after all.

"Ryan.."

Ryan was almost full asleep when a far whisper reached him.

"I love you."

 

The following morning Ryan woke up to the light seeping in from the window. It took him a moment to recognize the weight on his chest and to recollect all the events of the previous night. Mike hadn't moved at all in his sleep and Ryan held him a moment before untangling himself and heading to the bathroom. After a quick shower Ryan picked up all the clothes from the floor, piling them on a chair. He looked around the room, spotting his phone still on the desk. Grabbing it, he notice the battery was completely flat. It took Ryan only a second to find Mike’s charger, the kid was so tidy in everything, unlike Ryan. 

Putting the phone into the charger, Ryan switched it on, finding two missed calls and several messages from Max. The followers they were after had disappeared and they were free to go back home, she was worried because Ryan’s phone had been off all night long and Mike wasn’t answering his, so she asked him to call her back as soon as possible before she moved every available men to find them. 

Not wanting to wake Mike up Ryan quickly texted Max they were ok and will be on their way home in few hours and then let the phone power down again. Turning towards Mike, Ryan found him stirring on the bed, a big smile on his face. He could get used to all this positivity in his life. Throwing himself on the bed Ryan got under the covers and quickly kissed Mike before finding his way between the man’s opened legs. He bent Mike’s knees and laid flat against his back, his face inches from Mike’s ass. His tongue did a tentative lap around the base of Mike’s plug.

“Ryan..”

Encouraged by Mike’s excited whisper Ryan went on licking the area then took one of Mike’s balls in his mouth sucking gently. With his hand Ryan reached the plug and pulled it out of Mike.

The kid was already moaning and throwing around, his cock all erected, leaking pre-come.

“Still.”

It took Mike a second to register Ryan’s order but as soon as he did it he stopped himself gritting his teeth with the effort. Ryan kissed Mike’s other ball before returning to his previous spot licking Mike’s hole.

“Ryan..Oh, Ryan!”

It had to be a very pleasurable thing, Ryan thought, gathering Mike’s reaction.

Ryan went on breaching Mike’s body with his tongue until his mouth began to ache, then he withdrew a little to breath while putting his index finger against Mike’s hole, without pushing. Mike did all of it, pushing himself on Ryan’s digit until it was deep inside of him to the root, then he began to slide up and down, fucking himself on Ryan’s finger.

It was the sexiest thing Ryan had ever seen. He felt his cock go all the way up in seconds and, groaning, he reached for the box near the bed, grabbing the lube. He twisted up his hand and his finger in Mike, without pulling in out and squeezed some of the lube in his up-sided palm.  
Bending his middle finger he managed to lube it up nicely, pulling the index back but leaving the last phalanx inside Mike, he slowly added the second finger. 

As soon as it was in Ryan began pumping his hand at a quick pace, obviously excited and out of control himself. Ryan’s other hand went to Mike’s member, stroking it loosely, he moved up, still working Mike with both hands, to kiss him hungrily. Mike responded eagerly, opening his mouth to let Ryan’s tongue enter and find his own, as his hands went on Ryan’s back and neck, stroking and gripping him without control. 

He cried out loudly the moment Ryan stroked his prostate with his fingers.

“Shhhh, Mike.” laughed Ryan, covering the kid’s mouth with his own once again.

The kid was obviously about to come, Ryan’s hands working him inside and outside, and he was beautiful to see.

“I’m thinking about making you come just like this. You’re so beautiful Mike.”

Mike gasped some quick breaths before being able to answer back half incoherently. 

“N-no, no, please, Ryan. I want you inside me. Please. I need you inside me. Please, please!”

Smiling at Mike’s neediness Ryan withdrew his finger, cautious not to hurt the kid, and used the rest of the lube still on his palm to cover his own member. He slid his other arm under Mike’s neck, bending it at his elbow to brace his weight, then he laid the head of his cock against Mike’s opening.

“You do it, as you did before.”

Mike closed his eyes and slowly pushed himself on Ryan’s cock, his mouth forming a perfect 'o'.

Licking his own lips Ryan put his other arm under Mike’s lower back, angling him just right, and retook Mike’s mouth before starting to thrust all his way into the younger man. 

Mike wrapped his legs around Ryan, one arm encircling him as the other hand grabbed his ass to incite him deeper and faster. It was nice to have the boy with his hands free, able to wrap himself all around Ryan.

It took them very little to come, caught up by all the feelings for each other and the sensations around them, Mike’s opened body around Ryan and his cock trapped and stroked by their bellies together. Utterly spent, Ryan collapsed on Mike but made a last effort to turn himself on his back, bringing Mike on top of him. 

They rested just like this, one of Ryan’s arm loosely around Mike, catching their breaths.

Ryan was dozing off when he felt Mike moving a bit.  
Peeking at him he saw the kid lifting his head to look at Ryan, smiling with both his mouth and his blue eyes. Ryan used a hand on Mike’s cheek to bring him closer and kiss him lightly, before letting go to rest again. 

The kid had much more stamina, it was clear by the way he kept moving while Ryan felt ready to go to sleep again.

“Ok, ok.” said Ryan, sitting himself and Mike up. 

“Let’s get up. We can go back home, Max wrote the followers had disappeared and there is nothing we can do here anymore.”

“Oh..ok then.”

Ryan got up the bed, then turned as Mike didn’t move.

“What?”

“I’m hungry!”

Ryan fixed Mike with a stare, his mouth half open. 

“Right. Ok, so, shower, breakfast and then we go. All right?”

Jumping happily from the bed Mike nodded, grabbing Ryan and pulling him to the shower.

“Hey hey, easy! Just a shower, ok? We really need to get out of here!” warned Ryan, mirth in his voice.

“Ok..if it’s all you want..” answered Mike, half-pouting.

Rolling his eyes Ryan pushed Mike into the shower, proceeding to wash his hair and body and preventing him to get his hands on Ryan and start all over again.

They had breakfast nearby, Mike eating pancakes with syrup, bacon, eggs and a cappuccino, Ryan just sticking to his long corrected black coffee except for a bite of pancakes from Mike’s fork.

They had to drive for some hours to get back home and for the first half of the travel they talked relaxed, Ryan driving, with Mike doing the most of the talking. 

Suddenly Mike became to get more and more silent until he talked no more. Ryan kept giving him quick glances, trying to understand if he was just tired and dozing off or if there was something else.  
Mike stayed just like that, hands in his lap while his head rested against he car window watching the road running away.

When they finally arrived to Ryan’s house, Ryan instantly got out of the car and took their bags from the trunk. Closing it he expected to find Mike outside the car, ready to go into the house, instead he found him still inside the car.

Leaving the bags on the pavement Ryan went to the passenger’s door and opened it. 

Mike just looked at him with sad eyes for a moment before going back to look at his hands, seat belt still fastened. 

Ryan was growing tired of the kids changing moods but he restrained himself from storming away, leaving him there. Instead, he took a deep breath, counted to ten and to ten again and held his hand out to Mike, who watched it for a brief moment before putting his own in it and doing nothing else at all.

Taking another sharp breath and gritting his teeth, Ryan reached for the fastened belt, undoing it and pulling Mike until he had his legs out of the car, still sitting. At least he was facing Ryan now.

“Ok, just tell me what’s wrong Mike. I’m not good with this stuff, you know it. Just tell me.”

Still not looking at Ryan Mike took a moment before answering with low and resigned voice.

“It’s just..I don’t want it do end, Ryan. I don’t know if you want to go on with what happened yesterday and this morning and it’s tearing me apart Ryan. I had the occasion to live and it feels like what I had dreamed about for the last two years and I can't accept that it ends now, that I won't have it anymore. I just can’t. I’m sorry I’m telling you all this, I know you don’t want to have any crap like this, but it’s just too hard for me to go on as if nothing happened. Also..also I don’t know if you..why did you do it Ryan? You aren’t even in guys, you have been with Carrie until yesterday. I know I should have stopped you, that it would only hurt me more seeing you every day with somebody else, but I couldn’t really turn you down, could I?” 

A bitter smile was now on Mike’s lips while his eyes were shiny. He was trying not to make an outburst in front of Ryan, he knew how much the man hated that kind of things, but the situation was overwhelming and he didn’t know what do to. He felt desperate, confused, and just wanting to get on with something he didn’t understand at all because he didn’t know why Ryan had accepted to be with him. One of the answers to this question could have been too painful to cope with.

Struck with the immensity of what he had done, without thinking about the implications and the consequences, Ryan stood there for a moment just looking at Mike. For once he had done just what his body and heart had told him to do and now he was in this mess. He grabbed their bags and then grabbed Mike, leading him towards the house.

“Ryan? What are you doing?”

“Just come in and have lunch with me Mike. We are alone.”

If Ryan was inviting him to stay, alone with him, it couldn’t have been be a bad sign, hoped Mike. At least he would have the occasion to hear Ryan explanations before going back to his life.

As they entered Ryan’s flat Mike went to the kitchen, putting on some water to boil, he was used to cooking and, unlike Ryan, he counted less on takeaways. 

Ryan threw the bags on the couch and went for his phone.

“Hi Carrie, it’s me.” 

Mike’s heart sank down as he felt something blocking his breathing.

“Yes, I’m alright, we lost track of them and came back. We arrived just now. "  
"No, no, listen, you can’t come here tonight for dinner. In fact it’s better if you don’t come anymore at all. Yes, it’s Mike. You were right, ok? I’m sorry. Ok. Bye.”

As he turned to Mike Ryan caught him staring at him with wide eyes. He could read the fear alongside with confusion and now some new but little hope.

He kicked himself for not sorting things out the day before. Leaning against the counter he almost burnt himself with the hot stove and Mike quickly pulled him by his arm, not letting go.

“What was Carrie right about, Ryan?”

“She had told me once I care for you in a different way than I do for others, the few others I care about. She said I’m more relaxed and better when you are around. She had noticed you seem to be the only person I rely on and really trust, even now, after the Claire thing. In fact you are the only person I let take care of me after Claire and even when I started this thing with Carrie she said I wouldn’t ever have enough feelings for her because they were already divided between you and Claire. And she was right. Partially.”

“W-which part she was right about, Ryan?” Mike’s hand tightened around Ryan’s arm, squeezing it painfully.

“I already have feelings for another person, she’s right about that. But it's just one person, not two anymore. I just realized you can be strong enough for all the mess I am in. The FBI, Joe..myself. You have already been in all of this, standing by my side closer than anyone ever did, and you’ve made it. You’re still here. Making me a better person. Carrie was wrong, because I don’t love two people anymore. I don’t love Claire anymore, Mike.”

Disbelief still clear on his face, Mike grabbed Ryan by his shoulders and crushed his mouth against the man’s lips, tears running down on his cheeks, fists full of Ryan’s shirt.

It could had been just a dream and Mike would have been perfectly happy not to wake up but, then he felt Ryan's arms around him, hugging him tightly, answering to his kiss with equal strength, and everything just felt so real.

“I love you, Mike.”

“Ryan..”


End file.
